What's Behind My Eyes

I am not heroic, never have been really. I know this because I live with a man who is & who always has been, so I know what it looks like up close and personal...& it ain't me.

Sometimes I've taken the strong stand, done the right thing, been brave, showed up on time...other times, most times, not so much. I've been lazy and afraid, been a thief and a liar, been a junkie and a whore. Never been a cheat, but that's more of a personal choice than a badge of honor. Given the opportunity I almost always chose the bad over the good, I rooted for the bandit when I should have been rooting for the sheriff.

I find it ironic that at almost 50 I ended up being who I dreamt I was when I was 5. It has taken me all this time to become who I always could have been, I am the reverse wunderkind.

#encino #childhoodishard